Fife’s local newspapers are packed with forgotten stories, but there are quite a few occasions when the titles themselves have a story unfold around them.
In many instances that tale will never be told. There are instances where that is a good thing but there are others which, because of circumstances and legal implications, the story begins, unfolds and ends with only the key players ever being party to what actually happened.
There won’t be a newsroom in the entire world that won’t have a good collection of stories behind the stories. Some are shocking, others surprising, and some silly.
Here’s one that, in hindsight, might fall into that last category but, at the time, it was no laughing matter; well the legal bills weren’t anyway.
Although the tale is now nearly 30 years old, the names have been withheld, just in case this prompts a return visit to legal offices.
The story, dating from the early ’90s, centres on that esteemed journal, the Fife Free Press, Then located near the foot of Kirk Wynd, Kirkcaldy.
It was the season of goodwill and while the staff at the Press were working out the rota for the festive editions, an official-looking letter landed on the editor’s desk. This was from a firm of solicitors and the threats of legal action therein did not come from the usual suspects of court reporting, council coverage or interviews. No, the source of ire on this occasion was a pie.
The previous week, to add some colour to the sports pages dominated by Raith Rovers and Fife Flyers, it had been decided to re-introduce the once popular ‘Good Pie Guide’ - one journalist’s reviews of the savoury treats, or otherwise, available at the football grounds Raith visited, and a regular feature of the hack’s press box fare.
“Once again our fearless judges will queue in the rain for some odd bits of cow stuffed in cardboard pastry,” was how the reporter launched his column.
And, with just the first sample tested, he added: “Already we have a candidate for worst of the season.
“A texture like jellied eel, wrapped in a case of floury paper, combined with a taste which defies description.
“It was so bad that our guinea pig, normally noted for a cast iron stomach, was unable to complete the judging and was last seen heading for the toilets.”
Granted it was not a glowing endorsement but then again, ‘wan man’s meat is anither’s poison’. The baker responsible for the creation of this delicacy did not take kindly to the review, and hot-footed it to a legal firm, demanding action.
“The article was brought to our clients’ attention and they are extremely perturbed at the allegations contained therein,” stated the legal missive delivered to the editor. “The bakery has provided pies for 25 years and was voted second in Scotland with regard to the quality of the product.
“Our clients are extremely displeased with the coverage which their product received within the Fife Free Press. Our clients have instructed us to apply for a retraction to be printed as soon as possible, failing which it is their wish to begin court proceedings against you for defamation and damages.
“We look forward to hearing from you within the next seven days together with your proposals for a retraction, failing which we shall take our clients’ further instructions regarding raising the appropriate court proceedings.”
Now when a newspaper faces an official legal threat, it invariably means turning to the legal eagles it has on retainer. The complainer and the publisher, then sit on the sidelines while two sets of solicitors embark on the legal equivalent of chess and a square go.
This proved to be an open and shut (pastry) case. Firstly, the review focused on one particular pie, not all pies. If you were to, or could, challenge that review, it would have to be against that exact same pie. That would only have been possible if the reporter had retained some portion of crust, gravy and filling. This could then be retrieved, probably from below the seat of a Ford Fiesta, then presented in court perhaps 18 months later. It is hard to imagine many jurors queuing up for a lick of what would now surely be a putrid petri dish casserole of beef and bacteria.
Secondly, it was an opinion piece. Like a restaurant review or a crit’ of a show, if you charge money for something you take your chances on what the buying public’s response will be.
Finally, other than being described as “bad”, there might be those who found the potential of a “jellied eel” texture appealing, likewise, floury paper and a taste beyond description. Telling people what one particular ‘gourmet’ thought of a product could be viewed as helpful and enlightening.
With no surviving remnants of the particular pie to present, the Fife Free Press lawyers, responded, if not tersely then certainly briefly: “We respectfully suggest that our client’s comments on the pie in question fall into the category of fair comment on a matter of public interest.”
And there ended the matter. For those with an appetite for a little more, the ‘Good Pie Guide’ no longer features in the sports pages of the Fife Free Press, but the pies are still going strong, and remain popular.
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